Welcome

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 07 July 2007

Deployments suck, there's no getting around it. And all too often we don't seek the support we want and need, nor is it readily available. That is why I created this site. This is a place where you can come and enjoy yourself while you talk with others going through the same thing. Enjoy our quotes, song choices, and of course, our OPSEC reference, and start your very own DEPLOYMENT BLOG! Enjoy!

Add new comment

The military wife stereotype: Fact or fictional?

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 23 May 2011

Anyone involved in the military community has heard about the military wife stereotype, and if you haven't you're probably hiding under a rock. You know how it goes, they're all lazy, all they do is pop out kids, none of them work, they're bullies who hide behind their husband's rank, or spend their days online picking on other girls, pretending to be something they're not. I'm sure there's more, but you get the point. Does it hold any truth? Is it the military's fault?


Are all military wives lazy? Of course not, that wouldn't make any sense. A generalization of "all" is a joke anyways. Do they have lazy days? Of course. You try going through a deployment, being mom and dad, and getting no time to yourself. There are going to be days where you just don't feel like throwing that load of laundry in the wash, or mowing your lawn. Does that make them lazy? No, that makes them human.


Do all military wives pop out babies just because they can? Who would do that? Have you ever given birth? FYI, it hurts. There's a whole lot of pushing, stitches, and pooping on a doctor involved. Not only is there a slim to none chance that militray wives do that, there's a slim to none chance that anyone in their right mind would just pop out kids for the heck of it. Well, aside from the Duggars. I think this stereotype comes from the fact that all children are automatically covered by tri-care when they're born and some uneducated people may compare tri-care to medicaid. Tri-care is paid for and deducated from the service members' pay check. Thus tri-care isn't a hand out, it's a purchased insurance coverage. Sure, it covers a little more than most, but hey, if you want it, join the military. If not, stop complaining.

Read more... Comments (1)

Letters from Home Challenge

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 29 April 2011

I have a proposition to make.

To all who are willing to participate, make May, 2011 the month of "Letters From Home".

Instead of emailing, or texting, or calling, have the two of you agree to write each other a letter a day telling one another how you're feeling, what you're going through, and anything else you'd like to include.

This may result in some delayed communication as the mail takes longer than the internet, but there's something to be said about old fashioned communication. Women used to have no other choice but to rely on letters and if they can do it, anyone can do it. And you'll both have these letters to share with your future family for the rest of your lives.

"Like" the article if you agree to the Letters From Home Challenge, and comment periodically on how it's effecting your relationship!


Add new comment

Stages of Deployment

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 07 July 2007

 

The beginning will suck. There's no getting around it.

 

You'll say goodbye and be torn in two. You'll take the drive home, and you'll probably calm down. You'll go back to the house and it'll almost feel like nothing has changed. You'll feel like "hey this isn't as hard as I thought it would bad." You'll think you're handling it really well, and while you probably are...wait for it.

The first day or so you'll be really bored but not too depressed. You'll want to be alone but you wont be suffering like you thought you would be....but it'll hit you. One day, probably in the first week you'll have a break down. You'll have been waiting for a call and it takes longer than you thought, or you just cant stand the thought of not having to share the bed, or you'll trip over a pair of old boots and everything will come crashing down.

Read more... Comments (7)

The honeymoon phase: How long will it last?

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 14 May 2011

While military wives and families are burdended by the constant reminder that deployment is always lingering around every corner, they are belightfulyl blessed witht he tail end of deployment, which means getting to enjot the honeymoon phase all over again. But how long should a couple expect it to last?

Expectation is the mother of all disappointments. Comparison is the mother of all let downs. You can think yourself to death about the what if's and hope that homecoming and after will be one way or another, but in the end, it's an outcome that you can't control.

When a soldier, marine, airmain, seabee, etc. come home from a deployment, there will always be a warm welcoming. Hearts racing, tiny dresses flowing in the wind, fresh high heals, the scent of hair spray dancing in the wind. Yep, sounds like a military homecoming to me. Nothing anyone can do can ruin a homecoming....well okay, your husband coming home to a 6 month pregnant wife after a 12 month tour could do it, but that's not what we're talking about. Focus people, focus.

Read more... Comments (1)

Pre-Deployment

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 07 July 2007

Pre-Deployment is enough to put anyone into therapy.

You're freaking out, he's not. You want to punch him, he wants to hang out with his friends. You're worried about not being able to talk, him loving you less, him getting hurt, and everything else you can think of.

Well don't. I'm convinced that one of the hardest parts of a deployment, is before it even starts.

You're freaking out and he's not. Normal. To him, this is a job and it's something he's been prepared for emotionally and professionally. And by emotionally I mean that they have trained him to not care. To see it as a mission and nothing more. To him, everything is changing. His work, the food, where he eats, what he eats, where he sleeps, and quite frankly, worrying about all of that would be overwhelming, which is probably why he's not. For us, the only thing changing will be that he's gone, and that's tough to deal with and tough to look past or put into perspective.

Read more... Comments (6)

Change

Print
PDF

Written by Heather | 12 March 2011

"What if he's changed?" we all think it, whether it's wondering if they're still going to love us when they get home, to if they're even going to remember us when they leave. Regardless, in reality it's quite preposterous. (Great wordage, I know)

The answer is, he WILL change. And so will you. Going in to this, you have to accept that you're both going to grow int he twelve months (or other amount of time) that he's (or she) is gone. To think otherwise would be absurd. You can't stop it, you can't control it and there's honestly no point in trying. Accept and embrace it.

While he's gone, get to know him all over again. Ask him the same questions you did when you met. Ask him how is day is every day, and never question his love for you. This is one time in your life where you can't afford to be insecure.

There's no way in hell you can think about loving him any less, so ask yourself why it would be any different for him. He needs you, and he needs you to be strong and sure of yourself.

Allow yourself to change. It's going to happen, and you can't fight it the entire time. You need to take this time in your life to figure out EXACTLY who YOU are and hold on to it. Learn how to be independent. Lord know, in the military you're going to have to get used to it. Find out what makes YOU happy apart from HIM. In the long run it will make the two of you stronger upon his return, as the constant push and pull of post deployment is the inability to respect the others' space.

Change isn't anything that any of use need to be afraid of, because frankly it's a waste of time

Read more... Add new comment

More Articles...